In front of the door

By 2015-03-09 Egyéb No Comments

The little girl was standing in front of the door, her fingers were placed over the bell and she knew with a crystal clear certitude if she pushed the bell her father would answer the door for her. Arriving from school she saw the following scene in her imagination day after day: arriving home she discovers her father has arrived from Siberia where the frightful cold freezes several people’s feet. Usually this fantasy accompanied her until she reached their flat’s door on the suspension corridor, but in front of the door the fantasy was stopped by the play she engaged in with her brothers and sister. However, this day she was filled with a strange certitude. This year she was able to reach the bell and now with her hand over the bell she could dominate the situation. It depended only on her to give the irrevocable order of „open the door” to the bell. With the bell under her fingers, desire and certitude were mixed in her. The first time the bell rustled a bit, after that the ringing, like a horn, formed a long tunnel sound and reached the people indoors. When her hand was leaving the bell she heard the beating of her heart and when the door was opening she KNEW her father was there, he really had arrived home. First she didn’t dare to look at him, then she closed him in her sight, but she was afraid to move not to make the spectacle disappear. Finally, her mother came to embrace and lead her to him. The father’s hand hesitated to touch his adolescent daughter left in infant age, but then his hand rested on the silky hair of his daughter. The little girl lived through as the timid intimacy between them was gradually returning.

She didn’t tell anyone her wish had been realised, but she often recalled it. Perhaps her father came home because her wish was very strong, or maybe she was feeling his arrival because she was following his travel in her imagination. After the news about prisoners of the war it was known they were on their way home.
The certitude felt before the meeting with her father sealed her destiny. This feeling guided her to choose vocation, and with the help of this sentiment, she learned to treat unconscious moments that address everybody who has an ear to hear them. The sense of hearing became one of her work instruments and led her to important contacts and to the „moments of meeting” forming between her and her patients.”
Ildikó Erdélyi, Book of meetings (Detail from the work)